Re-reading this chapter in the Intuitive Eating book left me feeling confused and conflicted.

The authors talk about respecting one’s body. They define it as meeting our body’s needs: keeping it well fed, comfortable and healthy. They say you need not accept and love your body in order to respect it. Yet in the very summary of the principle they speak of acceptance. They speak about weight loss – there is even a self-test, a set of questions to assess whether you will lose weight once you become an intuitive eater. They talk about natural weight, and even give weight ranges. Yet, they say weight loss should not be the primary focus of the intuitive eating practice– but a secondary goal. What does it mean for something to be a secondary goal? Especially for people who have been dieting and focusing on weight for so long. Shouldn’t they rather heal, recover from this? I think the key is to learn to give up the weight fight. It may sound paradoxical, but that seems to be the only way to learn how to feel satisfied with less, and potentially lose weight. They advise not to use scales, but they give it almost as a side note. How can you truly reject diet mentality if you weigh yourself?

The confusion probably comes in part because I just finished reading a good part of Health at Every Size by Linda Bacon. This book goes much further by quoting numerous studies that show that:

  • Weight loss may simply be unattainable for most people. There is apparently no single study that shows that weight can be lost (and kept off) by dieting. Most long-term studies show the opposite to be true – people actually gain weight on the long-term by dieting.
  •  Fat does not kill – overweight people may even live longer on average than “normal” weight people
  • Weight loss does not prolong life – no single study shows that. Dieting actually seems to have adverse impact on our health. So the next time your MD advises you to go on a diet, ask yourself if you are getting the right medical advice.

These may be hard to swallow, but I think essential on the road to recovery. To my knowledge, the Intuitive Eating book does not quote a single study that shows that their program results in significant weight loss. I think it may happen, but that’s not the point. The point is in healing oneself from dieting and the thin dogma and living our lives to the fullest. At the end, it’s about being happier. It seems to me that one cannot really be happy if they don’t accept themselves.

There is so much to say on this week’s topic. It still didn’t crystallize in my mind, so I will only offer some closing thoughts.
  • "Weighism" seems to be one of the last forms of socially accepted discrimination. There is a tremendous social pressure to lose weight. Probably most people around you think overweight people should lose weight. And that “it’s only matter of discipline – eat less and move more, how difficult can it be?” It’s very hard to reject diet mentality in such environment. I think it’s important we recognize this (and give ourselves the time to overcome these detrimental messages).  
  • A great quote from the Health at Every Size Book. An idea for a reply on someone’s comments on your weight: “Why would I want to lose weight when I'm so damn gorgeous??” She offers other great replies, but this one really spoke to me. Don’t we come in all shapes and sizes? Aren’t we unique? Aren’t we simply damn gorgeous?
  • How often have you admired someone else's slenderness? Do you compare yourself (your weight) to others? Do you ever wished to be like them? A nice insight from the Intuitive Eating book: you might be admiring a person struggling with an eating disorder, someone who just came from a crash diet (and is about to crash and gain their weight back), or someone who is lean with no effort.
  • Do you by yourself the clothes you like to wear or are you postponing until you “just shed those pesky couple of pounds”? Are you avoiding some activities, or social events? These may be symptoms of us postponing our lives.

I’ve mistaken intuitive eating to be a self-change process. It's a healing process. Maybe as you heal you get ready for some gentle changes. But you can force your body to learn to trust you and intuitive eating as much as you can force a child into learning to walk, or your body to heal faster after surgery because you have a work-related commitment. We need to give ourselves the time we need.