I've gone through different phases on my moderation journey. After learning about practice, I set myself a goal to drink BTB for 30 days. The 30 days were extended to 6 months. Then I started noticing the negative effects of setting myself strict rules.

That is when I tried going "no training wheels" - for around 6 months again. That felt liberating, I was quite moderate, but towards the end I started wondering how I can guide myself with respect to drinking. Having no guideline can mean having little reason not to drink (albeit only one or two), or a reason to stop in a middle of some long social drinking events. So I asked myself if I could try to readopt BTB as a guideline. I wasn't, and still not quite am, sure about what this means. I don't find that to be a problem - on this road which is very much a learning experience.

This road is luckily paved with insights, each bringing us a step further. Today I have the following one: what if - instead of following strict rules to guide (and quite frankly judge) our behaviour - we would develop a deep self-care attitude?

What do I mean by a self-care attitude?

1. A self-care attitude is an attitude of self-care. Taking care of myself to me means taking care of my needs. It is not only about play - my needs may include trying to reach a work related deadline. In this achievement-driven world however, it most definitely is about play. Making sure your get the time and space you need. Making sure your basic needs: need to rest, to feel safe, to socialize, to love and be loved... are met. It may mean you need to work on that.

2. A self-care attitude is also an attitude of self-understanding, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. It means we know we're human, and we recognize and accept our human limitations. Not beating ourselves for not always strictly following a rule or a guideline to the letter is part of that. Making mistakes - learning really - is another instance. You treat your self with care, like you would a child you care about.

3. A self-care attitude is also an attitude of self-respect. You respect your body and your soul. You take care of them by not hurting them and by listening to the internal cues they use to let you know when enough is enough. Self-respect and self-care are good reasons to stop and give yourself a break from drinking.

Take good care of yourselves, 
Big